So school is over and I've been busy doing the bingeing part of sleep bulimia. I try to set alarms so I can wake up at a reasonable time to do shit during the day; doesn't work. I don't know if I'm naturally a night owl and should just accept it, or if my circadian clock is all fucked up from not sleeping at all some nights (thanks, Illustration) and then sleeping for fifteen hours the next. I think it's the latter. I imagine that my body is used to staying up for over 24 hours straight, so when I do get to bed, it's all, "This ain't gonna happen again for a while so let's go BALLS OUT!"

    Now that I can look back at the Sophomore Fashion experience, I can say that I learned that my mind works a hell of a lot faster than my hands do (or not at all, when I haven't slept for a couple of days) and that I can't let others break my spirit and make me lose my, excuse the Bratz reference, passion for fashion. And so, I've been trying to apply those two methodologies to my Summer Bukkit List by not expecting myself to do everything in one day and by doing shit that I want to do. Wuteva, wuteva, it's my hot body, I'll do what I want! So I'm cleaning my room a little bit at a time, rerooting dolls a little bit at time, reading a little bit at a time, etc.

    Speaking of reading, I've been picked up "Fingerprints of the Gods" again (started before the school year, barely got through a fourth since) and in it, Graham Hancock mentions the Nazca lines of Peru. On Wednesday, I went to a midnight showing of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull for Candy W's birthday and in the movie, Indy talks about the Nazca lines. In my head, I was thinking "Chika chika yeeah, I know what he's talking about." Lame, but I felt intelligent and worldly for a hot second.

    A digression from the progression of my summer. Like all Sophomores, I was a dresser for the Jury and Benefit shows. When we were assigned our models and had all the meetings, I was excited as all hell. I had never been backstage at a fashion show, nonetheless dressing hot menz. And, a couple of Tyra's orphans were in the show (Chantal and Catie, now Caiten). So the Jury show came around, I helped my two models get dressed amongst the hot, sweaty, bouncin' bulge chaos and it was fun and exhilarating. Then the Benefit show came; I carpooled with Candy and sang En Vogue in car, lost my breath looking at all the clothes up close, played UNO at Starbucks during the break and felt like Marilyn Monroe as I sat by the vintage pool (it was held at the Beverly Hilton). It was another fun experience, overall. But being around all those professionally beautiful people made me feel uglier than I have ever felt. At the Benefit show, some people were being exaggerated versions of themselves (probably helped along by some alcohol), trying to make themselves seem interesting to the male models, who were impossibly gorgeous, larger than life, God-like even, but, dumb as rocks. It was irritating as all fucking hell. I didn't feel like leaving my head, so I stayed quite most of the time. I just thought that I'd document this experience, in case I ever get to thinking that Beautiful People and I are of the same race.

P.S. I just bought Estelle's "Shine" album and I love it so far. She's like a British Lauryn Hill. I wonder if she hates White people too?